Next week brings Anna’s annual ARD meeting. For the uninitiated, this is a meeting that takes place once a year whereupon a vast team of people get together and decide what goals your special needs/special education child should work on for the following year. It can be a daunting, humbling, scary, and overwhelming meeting, especially…
Tag Archives: IEP
When we first entered the FAC room yesterday morning, I noticed the overhead florescent lights were covered with blue parachute material creating a soft, blue glow. Four boys and Caroline were around a table, listening to music and playing with instruments. Mrs. M_ came over and shook our hands. Curtis and I met the aides,…
Sweetie, I only have a minute but I have joy in my heart after reading that. I think the plan you devised is perfect for your girl, with small doses of a new situation working up until it becomes Anna's comfort place. I'm so proud of you for taking a deep breath and plunging forward with this. It would have been very easy to close yourself off from the conversation, but you forged ahead and I truly think it will have a positive impact on Anna's behavior and her overall well being. Sending you hugs,
Lori
I have such mixed feelings about all of this. I suppose it is because I see this as our future with Sophie. Right now Sophie is too young to see any difference between her and her peers…she is blissfully unaware (I wish her peer were as well 
but they already see a difference in her).
I don't know if you know this, but pre-Max was an aide in a classroom very similar to what you describe there as the FAC. It was a wonderful place for most of the children. I think eventually it will be for Anna. The fact you like the teacher is HUGE. I know it makes such a difference to have a calm presence in charge.
I wish Anna a very calm transition. Her comment about leaving the other class gives me so much hope that this is the right thing for her. I truly believe she is aware and feeling upset, which in turn causes her to act out.
I will be keeping You and Anna in my thoughts. I just want happiness for that sweet girl.
My sweet dear Holly….I think that you are making the best decision for Anna! From what you have written- this truly sounds like the best option available right now and one that she will be most comfortable with!
Sending you love and hugs!
Jenn
I got a call yesterday on my cell phone… a little after 2 in the afternoon. It was Anna’s special ed teacher, Mrs. M, who has been working with Anna for the last three years. When I heard her voice, I steeled myself anticipating bad news… I expected to hear that Anna was having a…
WOW, Holly. First of all, I've never posted on your writing. Amazing. If seems to me that you have full grasp on what needs to be done, you just need to write it out, make a list, check it and double check it. Then check it again. I am not in your shoes. I can tell you this. I learned pretty quick in my dark cold underground, that the days fly by and the future comes everyday, however, simply put, do today, worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. I know you want what is best for your daughter's future, but don't you think, that you could maybe just enjoy now, today, tomorrow, and a stretch here, next week? Get one thing done at a time. There is no doubt that Anna is brilliant, she will figure it out, when she is placed in an area that suits her, not you or Miss_M, or Q, or P. Just Anna.
I love you. I know you will make the best possible choice for Anna and you and Hubby and the kids. Don't forget to check that list…
Best,
Jo
Good advice, Jo. Very good advice! I have been so mired in appointments and meetings with specialists that I do tend to forget about today, right now, this moment. Today, right now, this moment, I can get Anna to belly laugh by saying "Happy Halloween" in a really funny tone of voice. I'm going to go get lost in play with her. Thank you for reaching out to me, Jo. I think of you often, and Dante too… anytime I find a dime it grounds me to reality and I can live in the present for that moment. I think I'm going to line my home with dimes right now. I am a better parent because of what you've gone through, so thank you for sharing yourself when it was dark in your world. I love you, too.
Holly, I agree with Jo in principle. There is just so much that one can take all at once. When you try to think too far into the future you will be (and are) overwhelmed. Take it a day at a time. And, if that is too much (as some days are), break it down even further. Go with the recommendation, knowing that, if it doesn't work out, you always have other options – including home schooling. Anna with pretty much determine what she needs. You just need to be sure that the proper boundaries are in place to keep her safe and you sane. Know that I love you and am always thinking of you.
Love, Dad
My sweet Hollybear.. you know for a fact how much Anna means to me, so you know I don't say this easily..
Perhaps though, if we shift our manual focus just a bit, maybe this would be a -good- move? I understand your concerns having read it all but at the same time, it IS a new year, she has made LEAPS and bounds, maybe getting her in a slower pace would actually give her the leg up that she needs?
Let's shift our focus now to Anna's eyes. What if school seems like a mountain? What if FAC is actually just a little hill that is muuuuch easier for her to climb, then once she's got her leg up on that hill and she's planted her flag, maybe then she can be closer to the top of the 'mountain' and vault over to the top of that.
Don't see it as "giving up" on her, instead add the important words you left out. "her a leg" Now say it to yourself fully. "I'm giving her a leg up."
Like your father, I am always thinking of you and here for you, just a phone call away, ignore the distance and remember my heart is always near yours.
Holly, your mommy instincts will know what to do. I must say, I went back and read your previous post about Anna's school struggles and the thought came to my mind that Anna is fighting an uphill academic battle while trying to learn in an enviroment she is so miserable in. I think getting her more comfortable will open her up for more learning, whether that be at home, school, tutor, etc…
Thinking of you and sweet Anna!!
Christina balzly
Holly, I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this. I think the most important thing at this point is Anna's comfort and happiness. She won't learn if she's miserable. Megan's in a cluster class and academically it's probably not as challenging as she could do. But she is happy to go to school and happy when she gets home and the teachers report she is an angel and happy when she's there. It gives me a lot of peace of mind. I don't know which of your options will give you that, but I definitely think you have the right to ask, and question. You are part of the team that decides Anna's school placement. You will work through this. If you try something and it doesn't work, then you try something else. ((hugs))
I really, really, really appreciate all of your perspectives and support. I have been reading and re-reading your comments and taking them to heart. Thank you so very much for helping me stay grounded in the present and reframing how this possible change could really help Anna. We all just want what's best for her and hopefully we can help control her anxiety, aggression, and compliance AND help her learn. I love each and every one of you!
Holly, I can't offer much in the way of advice. I am having my own inner struggles dealing with the challenges that lay ahead for my Maddie. I don't doubt that a lot of us with SN kiddos have this struggle. The gaps get larger… I had a difficult time coping this week trying to know how to help Maddie with her homework…and started wondering how long it will last before she can't do what her peers are doing. I feel your struggle and know that whatever happens your mom instincts will guide you down the path you need to take. You are a wonderful mom to your wonderful Anna…
You never want to have an emotionally disturbed child and you certainly never want your child to be unhappy for a prolonged period of time. This has been a hard post to write and I haven’t even been sure I wanted to share it but if it helps someone else going through the same circumstances…
My heart aches for you Holly. I am so glad you shared.
Oh Holly – I'm so sorry sweetie. I'm praying that this behavioral therapist can come up with a plan that will work. You're in my prayers. ((hugs))
Couldn't read and not post… ((HUGS)) and lots of PTs being sent your way.
Thank you, Kelly and Carol. April, I'm so glad you posted, it's always nice to meet a new friend. I peeked at your blog and it sounds like you are having a rough time too? (((April))) Thank you for your kindness.
So the kids are in their third week of school and both Anna and Dominic have had their ups and downs. Anna is adjusting to her inclusion class better than I hoped but she’s already had several incidents with throwing things, yelling “idiot girl” (her favorite angry phrase), pinching another student, and hitting the teacher….
Holly – you are doing an incredible job, in an incredible challenging situation! It's just not fair that you must think so much, and work so hard, when so many parents just get to skate through. I know you are up to it though. Your kids are so blessed to have you. You have lots of people behind you, wishing you, and your beautiful children, well. You can do this!! Give your wonderful kids hugs from me.
Carol Askew - Woo hoo! I'm so glad that things are so much more positive now. I hope everything goes very smoothly next week. ((hugs))