So Anna has had an off week. She’s been difficult at school and a little tough at home. On Wednesday, Anna left her classroom three times. The first time she wandered around in the hallway for awhile before coming back in. The second time she made it to the library and the librarian brought her…
Tag Archives: behavior
Anna is sick and won’t be going to school tomorrow. She hasn’t slept well the last three nights and is up again right now. I’m sure by the time she’s better, Dominic will be sick. At least we haven’t had any seizures! I’ve gotten completely hooked on Professor Layton for the DS, so that’s been…
Jenny starts her senior year of high school tomorrow. We spent six hours together yesterday at the mall getting her desperately needed new clothes. Anna starts second grade tomorrow and Dominic starts kindergarten. I meet with Dominic’s child psychologist this Friday to go over all the test results from his evaluations… I’ll let you know…
Good luck with their first day! I hope it goes smoothly. Can't wait for pics.
Sticks and stones may break my bones But words will never hurt me. Is that true? Some words can hurt. A word is a word; how we interpret it ascribes its meaning. The tone of voice, an inflection, body language, and history all play into how a word is taken. I wish I could rise…
I find myself looking forward to Thursdays. It is not OGIM (I don't have those any more) and not a Hump-day like Wednesday or a TGIF. Each day brings its own special joy for me now as I get older. Thursday is the day my oldest daughter shares her wisdom in her "Thoughtful Thursday" posts. And wise she is. In 4 days she turns forty and I'll be there to tell her, in person, how much I love her. You can already tell from her 'thoughts' that she is filled with love already.. but we'll squeeze more in. I assure you.
Holly,
Would it be alright if I linked back to this post on my blog?
This is so true Holly! I admit I used to use the "r" word when I was a teenager. Thankfully someone said something very similar to what you did and it helped me realize that even if I wasn't trying to hurt someone I very well could be, just by saying that word. Ever since then try my hardest to not say it(I admit it might have slipped once or twice, but I try to make a conscious effort to not say it), and I try and tell people the same thing I was told when I hear them say it.
p.s. This is Dawn, you've made for me on Crumbsnatchers before(my daughter is Brinley).
Thank you for this. I recently had a revelation of this type. I am embarrassed to say that I have used the word retard before and just a few weeks ago, I had an incident happen that made me sure that I will never use it again. I dont even remember what I was talking about, but a child with Downs was in ear shot and the look on her face when I said the word, really affected me. I cried I felt so terrible. I vowed at that moment to never use it again.
Wonderful piece Holly, thanks for creating it. And the picture is superb. I Really must get you photos and have you develop a siggy that celebrates Georgina..I am struggling with her so much…I have to do things to just celebrate her beauty and hard work.
You are very right. I use it without even thinking but it is more in the "I am such a tard" context that you mentioned, never to make fun of people. Anna has a lot of challenges to live with but from her pics she looks very happy and that is awesome.
In the future, I will think before I speak because you never know who might be affected.
Oh and BTW, your profile pic is gorgeous!!! You look so young…
Just stumbled upon your blog but wanted to share how my co-director (community theatre) came to me one afternoon in tears. Her daughter who was born with downs syndrome was 10yo at the time and had received her official diagnosis of Mentally Retarded. I'll never forget the despair and sadness that the diagnosis had for this mom. I told her it was only a medical term and not a label and she needs to think of it that way.
From that moment on I understood the pain of the word and cautioned my children on the proper use of the term.
If only the rest of society could/would do the same.
In a world of labels,its a hard day when you have to swallow a label on your child. We as parents want to shield them from every hurt. Every cut and scrape. And when we absolutely,can not,it hits us hard. Not only in her thoughts but our hearts.
Anna is a beautiful child. You can see from every picture,the innocent beauty she has for the world.
I was raised by a mother and a godmother who REFUSED to enable me to see the "difference" in anyone else. I was raised that everyone is unique. Whether in the way they speak or the color they appear or whatever. I wasnt allowed to use terms such as, "retard" or "n*****", because they wouldn't allow it. I didn't even know the words until I was much older. Where I went to high school,they segregated the "normal" kids from the "special needs" kids. They ate lunch different from us. They took recess different from us. Gym class,etc. I never understood it. Then in my sophomore year of high school,they de-segregated everyone. My friends and I sat at the same table all four years of high school. The table we sat at,happened to be the table where the special kids sat. A senior walked over to the group at the end of the table. They asked one of the kids to "throw their plate away". Harmless as it seemed,it wasn't. Because we weren't allowed to throw them in the trash (it was the reusable plastic?) Anyway the lunch lady went crazy on the poor kid. Screaming at him in the middle of a lunch rush. You could see he was completely flustered and didn't understand. He ran back to his seat and was in tears. From then on,the school went back to segregating the students. I always was disappointed. Not only in my peers for their actions but for myself,for not reacting. Though I didn't know his intentions,when I did I should have said something.
I guess we're raised in a society that isn't forgiving of anything that isn't "the norm". We're so use to being thinkers "inside the box" that we cant imagine whats outside of it (the box) Tristian is going to be tested soon for autism. His docs think he has a extremely MILD case of it. That it isn't a debilitating thing (for him). I'm worried. I don't want him to wear a label. I dont want him to have any setbacks because of a label.
Wonderful post Holly. Thanks for sharing this.
holly, you are amazing, girl. 
i really enjoy reading your posts, they're always very thoughtful, honest and true. you're a great mom!
You've articulated your thoughts beautifully here, Holly. Thank you for reminding all of us how deeply a single word can hurt.
This is a great post Holly. Thank you for sharing. My youngest brother has special needs. I remember standing up for him on more than one occasion. Go Jenny!
For my sweet CMers that are coming here today in support, I want to thank each of you so much. Not just for responding, but for reading and caring. Your kindness touches me and reminds me that I am not alone. Thank you. <3
Lovely post. I hope it helps stop the thoughtless use of such a horrible word. Though we have insensitive people here that word hasn't been used in Australia for a long time.
[...] This Saturday, the 2011 Best Buddies Friendship Walk takes place in downtown Austin. Our family is walking as a team… “Anna’s Buddies” and we would be honored to have your support. This walk is part of a campaign to end the “r” word ~ a word that hurts those with intellectual and developmental disabilities. To understand how passionately I feel about this subject, please read this post titled “Thoughtful Thursday: retard.” [...]
Holly, this post has me in tears!! A close friend of mine had a son who had down’s syndrome and I’ve had this discussion with her about the “r” word and completely understand where y’all are coming from. It disgusts me to hear the term thrown around as slang. 
[...] I’ve written about the “r” word before and how much it hurts. Even though that post was written nearly three years ago, each time I see a friend use the word, I still wince and have [...]
I’ve lost count of the meltdowns. Dominic is having one of those days where he hurts himself over and over which makes Anna upset. She’s handled most of the boo-boos pretty well but one pushed her over the edge and she ended up biting me and pulling my hair (she gets physically aggressive when she’s…
I am so sorry Holly and I hope there is no seizure. I hope, hope, hope that tomorrow is a better day and that you get some much needed sleep tonight.
Huge Hugs Holly…I am so sorry things are not going so good for you guys..I'm thinking of you all..hoping things get better and better.
keppler - and she knew that she needed a drivers license and money to buy the wheel chair too !!
Carol Askew - Wow, that's one determined, and smart, girl.