Tag Archives: behavior

A Fresh Start Six and a half months into the school year, we are finally making some big changes to help Anna. This year has been the worst ever for her. She started at Canyon High School (CHS) as a freshman in August of 2016 and things were bad from the start. I’ve been saying since the […]

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Something isn’t quite right with Anna. It started Tuesday night. Dominic is in the choir this year and has been practicing for a couple of months for the holiday show. Mom and I strategically planned the whole night. She brought Anna in later, right before the show started. I had seats saved near the end […]

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  • beckie - (((hugs))) I do not have experience with special needs children so I’m afraid I can’t offer any insights or advice. I simply wanted to say that I admire your openness and willingness to say things that others may not understand. To put yourself out there like that takes guts – and commitment and passion and love for your child(ren). I hope you find something that brings peace to your home and peace for Anna soon <3ReplyCancel

  • Nina - I’m sorry it’s been such a rough week. Tomorrow is a new day and you already made it through most of this week. Hugs, friend. <3ReplyCancel

  • Kimberly Leverett Osburn - Hi Holly,

    I wish there were something I could do to help. My daughter has two boys with Asperger’s Syndrome. It’s difficult to manage everything on a good day, much less when you, the child or maybe both of you are having a “bad” day. I pray the “good” days will out weigh the bad for you and your family. I wish you and Aimee could meet and talk. I know you’d have a lot in common and perhaps could lean on each other.ReplyCancel

  • Misty - You are a beautiful, patient, and truly great mother. Hugs to you as you all move through this. If I can help be an extrensic motivator let me know (movie night with Misty and Macie, etc.) Love you guys!ReplyCancel

  • Ashley Spaulding - Your honesty is so amazing. I know it can’t be easy for you to speak from your heart and share so much, but I hope you know you’re helping someone, somewhere. You, Holly, are a beautiful person and a wonderful mom, and even though it’s easier said than done, try to remember that you’re doing the absolute best you can…and your absolute best is a darn good job.ReplyCancel

  • Tracy Bradbury - Hugs Holly, you are a wonderful Mum and I too know all too well how difficult bringing a special needs child up is, we do need to talk about these things as all too often they just get swept under the carpet! Remember you are doing a fantastic job <3ReplyCancel

  • Heidi - You are an AMAZING mother! <3 You inspire me Holly-you really do. I know that what you go through is not easy-very few ppl get how gut wrenching it is, how hard it is to just carry on with a regular day and maintain some level of sanity and peace, and you do that AND more-Before I had a special needs kid, I admit that I did not 'get it.' Did I ever judge? NO. But nothing prepares you for how hard it really is or what families like ours go through, and your honesty in sharing it helps us all. <3 Before Joey, I used to think that my kid's behavior was a result of all my parenting decisions. Ha!!!! How naive I was…Then we had Joey and he has suffered from behavior like Anna's. And I KNOW it is not anything I have done, I KNOW it is totally 100% beyond my control and a result of his diseased brain. And I know that even though you know that, and I know that, we still question ourselves-it's what moms do. <3 But these things are beyond our control, and I want you to remind yourself of that when you doubt your decisions-you are managing this storm gracefully, Holly. You truly are. Some days are hard. You are strong my friend. <3 Praying for better days my friend. <3ReplyCancel

  • Rebecca Spencer - My dear sweet friend, you are a fabulous mother and have offered me so much support with my Theo over the years. Even last night you were there listening to my problems when you were so worried about your own child. Remember Holly please just how much you are loved and how many lives you have touched with your kindness. Rebecca xxxReplyCancel

Well… as good as last week was, this week wasn’t so hot. Anna was suspended from school on Thursday for an incident that happened on Wednesday. I debated on whether or not to share the details, but decided that Anna deserves to have people understand her behavior… and if you see someone agitated and acting […]

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  • pam - Why did the school stop using her BIP? Does the BIP state different levels of consequences? Does it state what they will do if she get’s physically aggressive? I had an autistic girl a couple of years ago, who would have these meltdowns around her cycle too. It was obviously PMS stuff. We learned to handle her a little more gently around that time, and sometimes I just pulled her into my classroom until she calmed down and was able to go back to her class. There are options.ReplyCancel

  • Holly - Hi Pam, thank you for your thoughts. We stopped using her BIP in January because she’d had no incidents of aggressive behavior all year. What she’s doing now is completely new, so we’ll have to write the BIP from scratch and I’m going to push for consistent consequences as apposed to escalating consequences. It is very helpful to hear from teachers and get another point of view, so thank you very, very much for chiming in. <3ReplyCancel

You’ve heard of Sister Wives on TLC? I feel an equal kinship with the women who’ve shared my journey with Anna’s special needs for the last ten years. I call them my Sister Moms. Our first get-together of the iVillage group was back in 2003. We called it the Rubber Duckie Reunion. When you find out […]

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  • cassie - Thanks for reminding me. Was wondering why I couldn’t shake my funk yesterday.ReplyCancel

Today is the National Day to Spread the Word to End the Word. It’s been a busy day and I’ve gotten the kids settled into bed after spending the evening with Anna at Special Olympics soccer practice. Having just watched her win a gold medal in basketball two weeks ago, I’m especially pleased that the […]

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  • Sarah Phillips - Happy Birthday, Anna! I cringe every time I hear someone say it and always have. Thank you for sharing. <3ReplyCancel

  • angela king - happy birthday sweet anna!!!!!!
    what an awesome campaign. what an awesome post. i’ll admit that i’ve been guilty of using the “r” word in the past and reading your post, i feel guilty. i know i meant no harm by using it but i see that it does cause harm to others. i’m sure you cringe the same way i cringe when someone uses the word gay out of it’s intended context. i am going to rid this word from my vocabulary. for anna and everyone else in the world that it may hurt. thanks for opening my eyes holly. 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Janda - I too have a child with special needs and watched her grow up without “real” friends. It’s hard to say the least. To her however everyone was her friend, no matter how bad they treated her. She is my hero, and always will be. Children with special needs sometimes teach us how we should be living our life. My daughter however grew up with only me as her advocate. All of her grandparents died before she was born, and her father and brother unfortunately could never cope with her needs. Their loss. She is now grown and still living with me and will always be my blessing from God.ReplyCancel

  • Dawnn Thornton - I commend you on taking a stand for your daughter, and many other children, teens and adults. I too have a special needs daughter. We have been through some of the roughest times of our lives, and have always had the most loving, friendliest angel to lift our spirits up while we were feeling bad for ourselves. We don’t have an actual name for what is wrong with my daughter though, which makes it hard to know how to care for her properly, so we do the best that we know how, and with the tools that we have been taught and learned along the way. She was born with bi-lateral clubbed feet, and was casted and braced for the first 3 yeafs of her life…she actually learned how to walk at 3 years old, with bent knee casts up to her hips, with a Dennis Brown bar between her legs connecting both casts. That is when we knew, that she would be teaching us some very important life lessons, which was, there was nothing that can hold you down, except yourself. She also has seizures, though hers aren’t too dibilitating….she has focal seizures, however, the older she gets, the less we have seen them…so we are hoping, that she is growing out of the. We have been to every specialist, and has had so many tests done…and always with a smile on her face. I have had her in school since she was 2.5 y/o, and love watching her learn new things every day. She has the vocabulary of a 3 year old. 2e work with her daily, and she is in speech therapy twice a week. I was in a car accident when I was pregnant, and the doctors think that she received a traumatic brain injury in utero, which they call a Diffuse Brain injury. But anyhow, now that you have an idea of her back ground….just like you said about Anna….my daughter Kaydence Grace, knows no stranger, and believes anyone she comes in contact with is her best friend, which can be extremely terrifying. This day in age, there are bad people out there that can and will take of advantage of that, whether it be pedophiles, or people taking advantage of her when she is older, be it financially, or play off of her friendliness. She is mainstreamed in her school where she does everything, except math and reading with typically developing kids her age, and then a special class for her reading and math. They typically developing children have taken her under their wings. They know something is diefferent with her, but when walking from classes, to the bus, ub luvh or recess, they make sure no one else messes with her, and also they make sure that she stay with her classmates, and doesn’t run off. They are her little guardian angels. I have heard the “R” word on too many occasions, and it gives me the chills, and physically makes me ill when I do hear it. I too used the word as a child and a teenager, but never directly about someone…I would use it as a adjective to describe something…ever since I had my daughter, I. Have removed that word from my vocabulary. My daughter has taught my husband and I and everyone she has ever met to be patient, to love unconditonally, and to love with every ounce of ourselves. She has also taught us, that no matter how tough life is, it can and will be OK, and just have faith. When we first realized something was different with her aside from her clubbed feett, my husband and I went through a “why us, why her” phase, and we learned that God, saw something in him and I, and gave Kaydence Grace to us for a reason, and hat God, doesn’t give angels like her to just anyone. He gives angels like her to special parents. We have learned so much from her, and I certainly will be passing this info along to spread the message that the “R” word hurts people, and its not just the person that is disabled…it also hurts all the people, family members, friends, and loved ones that have a disabled person in their lives. There is no love greater that the love that we receive from her. Also, we have a almost 3 year old son, that is already super protective of his big sister, when neighborhood children leave her out from playing, or say mean things, and upset my daughter. I can only imagine when he is older, what he will say or do to protect her.

    Thanks You for letting me speak about my beautiful daughter. She is my world.

    Mom of Kaydence Grace(8y/o), and Huntley Dail(3y/o)

    Dawnn Thornton
    Sutherland, Virginia
    31y/oReplyCancel

  • Anna - Dear dear lovely Holly and special lovely Anna. Here I am sitting, tears behind my eyes.
    I know how such a small word can hurt people by my own experience as a child. And I can feel the hurt it does to you both.
    Sometimes people don’t know what they say and don’t look beyond the human being they see.
    What I see, when I read this blog is a lovely mother and her beautiful daughter Anna. And not only from the outside, but most important: your character. Stay who you are. You are the best.
    xReplyCancel

  • Holly - My dear friends. I have been moved to tears reading each of your stories. Tears, real true tears. Thank you for commenting and sharing your stories.

    Sarah, you are a true sweetheart. I adore you.

    Angela, I am so proud of you! Thank you for your raw honesty and your commitment. I am proud to call you my friend.

    Janda, my heart broke reading your story. Their loss indeed! You are a special momma and person. I would be honored to get to know your daughter.

    Dawnn, thank you for introducing me to Kaydence Grace. I too worry so much about people (boys, men) taking advantage of my sweeting, trusting little girl. She knows no strangers either. Dominic, Anna’s little brother, will protect her just like your Huntley will protect Kaydence Grace. Thank you for sharing your story and for reaching out to me. <3

    Anna, thank you, thank you. Your words touched me deeply. I adore you. <3ReplyCancel

  • Staci - happy birthday to anna <3

    i too absolutely detest that word. my 15 year-old cousin has down's, and when my students (middle schoolers) use it, i always show them a picture of him and explain how the word hurts him, and me. hopefully it will be a word seldom used soon!ReplyCancel

  • Lauren - Happy happy day to your whole family! This was such a beautiful post to read. So heartfelt and moving. I almost don’t have the words for how it touched me. I truly appreciate how you take a stand not just for your kids but for all kids who struggle. I admire you (all of you) so much. xo LaurenReplyCancel

  • Lauren - P.S. I LOVE the photo of Anna where you’re all singing to her. She looks so beautiful!ReplyCancel