Perhaps it’s because Anna’s issues were so dramatic when Dominic was born, perhaps it’s because he is my first and only boy, perhaps it’s because of relative perspective… whatever the reason, I was in deep denial about Dominic’s challenges. There is a pervasive stigma that ADHD is over-diagnosed and certainly over-medicated, so I had my…
I thought I was due for a long Elusive Tranquility update. For those of you who are new to my site, my blog started as a parenting blog to share stories about Anna, my now 10-year old daughter, who has multiple special needs and I called my original blog Elusive Tranquility. Of course I also…
I am so sorry Dominic has these challenges to deal with but I think it is so wonderful that you guys saw the psychologist and now can move forward helping him manage these things. ADHD medications made a world of difference for Drew in school and I hope they do the same for Dominic.
I read this yesterday and didn’t have a chance to post. I am so proud of you for getting him the help that he needs. I so understand the 2 SN kid issues. Some parents would just poo poo his sadness and not get him help.
I wish I had words of wisdom on Anna’s meltdowns. I deal with them from Connor. Often I just put him in his room and let him cry it out. Frankly they get on my last nerve. It drives me up a fricking wall when he is just crying. I know that its not his fault and he can’t help it damn. Ya know?
If you ever need to talk I am just a text or call away. xoxox
So the kids are in their third week of school and both Anna and Dominic have had their ups and downs. Anna is adjusting to her inclusion class better than I hoped but she’s already had several incidents with throwing things, yelling “idiot girl” (her favorite angry phrase), pinching another student, and hitting the teacher….
Holly – you are doing an incredible job, in an incredible challenging situation! It's just not fair that you must think so much, and work so hard, when so many parents just get to skate through. I know you are up to it though. Your kids are so blessed to have you. You have lots of people behind you, wishing you, and your beautiful children, well. You can do this!! Give your wonderful kids hugs from me.
Whew, it’s been such a busy week. I met with the Assistant Principal and Dominic’s teacher on Monday to talk about the test results from the child psychologist and strategize on how to best help him be successful in kindergarten. We were prepared for it to be a 504 meeting if it was necessary. To…
I've been following your blog for a short time (directed here by Devin) and I'm finding myself looking forward to updates like this. As a school counselor, I enjoy learning how other school districts in other areas of our country work with children in need. The way that your son's school is dealing with his needs is refreshing. This is where our district and state (Florida) is going. We are in the process of implementing RtI (Response to Intervention) and what they are doing for you son is just that. Regardless of label or plan, students needs should be met and we should be doing everything we can within the classroom to meet those needs. I wish you continued luck with your children and look forward to reading more updates as they come along.
Great! I hope it helps him. Sounds like he has a great teacher!
"…constantly moving, swinging his arms around, fidgeting, wallering in the floor during circle time, etc…"
This sound like me! I have recently been diagnosed with RLS (restless legs syndrome) and have it under control with Mirapax.
Wellll…. isn’t this interesting??? It looks like Dominic may NOT have ADHD after all! The pyschologist did IQ and achievement testing and our little pickle is smart! His overall IQ tested at 124 and his achievement functioning tested at 132. Here’s the really interesting part about the ADHD. On the IQ test, three subtests indicate…
wow what a lot of info to intake. i worked with a boy with oppositionaly behavior diorder…… such a smart kid but wow…im really hoping you don't have to overcome the struggles that come with that. thinking of you guys! and glad to see your getting some insight. just a question… but was he in riddlin? because my understanding is that it only 'slows' you down if you actually have adhd… otherwise its actually an upper. Miss you a lot!!
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Rebecca Spencer - Love you Holly x You are one fabulous mother, looks like you are raising a wonderful young man there.
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Amanda - You just described my oldest child to a tee. He was diagnosed with ADHD about 3 years ago. I knew he had something,considering I was raised with my brother. Who has ADD and ADHD. We tried non-medicated techniques first,with ZERO result. We’ve since moved to Conserta and he’s doing better. It’s a time release so it lasts but he’s become slightly more aggressive? So we’re waiting for Spring Break to try and move forward with a different medication. — I always feel SO torn! My youngest has Autism. I’m constantly having to work with HER,over her brothers (both my boys have ADHD)and I feel like I’m playing favorites. But I’m NOT! I love all my kids. It’s just my youngest requires SO MUCH attention,that everything else,including myself get left behind. ((HUGS)) You are a fabulous mother. You have nothing but praise and love for your children!
Christi - I was nearly in tears reading that. You are so amazing. Your commitment to your kids is so very touching. I would love to chat with you some time. I am very interested in getting my older son to a psycologist for some anxiety issues and control issues.
Holly - Thank you, Rebecca, Amanda, and Christi. Amanda, thank you for sharing your story with me (and us). I didn’t realize Summer had autism, I just adore her. You are doing an amazing job and I hope the next med really works. Huge hugs. Christi, thank you. I just sent you an email with our psychologist’s contact info. Love you guys!!!
jessica r - Holly I am in tears reading his words of advice, I think we can all learn something from that. From a 7 year old. Wow. Sounds like with a mom like you, anything will be possible for him.
Claire Lane - You have such a caring soul Holly, always wanting to help others. It really shows in everything you do. And wow, how you must have missed that smile, wonderful to see it back I’m sure!
Lauren - Oh, how I loved reading every single bit of this Holly. All the hard work you are ALL doing. What a moving post, and how so touching Dominic’s own words are. So compelling. And to finish with those gorgeous photos! Just perfect. What a brave warrior mama you are. xo
Jessica - Oh, Holly, I am so glad you are on a good road with your little man; he is so very lucky to have you as his Mama! He is just adorable and looks so sweet and HAPPY!!!!
angela king - i just realized i hadn’t visited here in a while so i stopped by super quick half out of my chair at 11pm at night on my way to bed. i started reading and now by butt is firmly planted and i’m crying. my heart aches for you, your family and especially dominic. he’s such a handsome and sweet boy, it was his words that made me cry. i’m sure my bailey would have said the exact same thing.
i have one picture that sums up that exact point that you’re talking about with photos. i can picture it so clearly in my head. i looked at it after taking it and said, wow. that’s totally him now. it made me sad. it did not however make me take him to a dr. i waited quite a few more years before i did that. i too felt that he didn’t need it. not my son.
you my friend are not alone. i admire you for putting all of this out there to help other parents. you are amazing.
big big hugs to you and your sweet boy!!!!!
Mindy Ann - I wish I had more to say after reading your post. All I keep thinking after reading and looking at your great pictures of him is “I am so glad he is smiling again too!” You have such an intelligent, sweet kid. He is so lucky to have an amazing mom like you to get the help he needs and stand by his side during the process!
Holly - I have been touched to the point of tears by your responses and stories. Thank you for taking the time to write and send me emails. It means so much to me. <3
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melody - You have to be the voice for your child…..and you are showing the world what a loud voice you have! You are a wonderful mother and I am so glad that you posted this!
Rebekah - Sending you blog love for your courageous post. Your son in so handsome! Truly enjoy the photog shot looking above. Makes me wonder . . .
Julie (Charlie's mum!) - Holly, I don’t know that I ever mentioned that my eldest, Abby has ADHD (and dyspraxia and dyslexia and edging round the ASD spectrum too!)
Though she came first by 5 years, Charlie’s needs took precedence because like Anna, his are so much more in evidence. She was diagnosed at 6..she was a whirling dervish… and she was on medication for many years. Once we got the doses etc right, it WAS a magic bullet for her and I have absolutely no doubt that it has been crucial. Like Dominic, she was a very bright child.. and is a very able young woman.
She has had to overcome immense challenges to get where she is today..and at just turned 20 has recently gone back on ADHD meds and is having psychological support at university as a heap of issues have made life for her very hard in recent times. BUT as a young adult she is determined that her ADHD etc are challenges that she can overcome.. and she is now in her second year at med school, which by anyone’s standards is a pretty good achievement!
Dominic WILL do fine with you behind him. Like Abby he will have challenges but he will also rise to meet them.
When Abby was small , our Paed once told her that she could achieve anything because people with ADHD have amazing brains.. Abby has never forgotten that comment
Holly - Julie, ahhh… gosh, how I wish we lived closer! Thank you for sharing Abby’s story. I did not realize she has ADHD and other learning disorders. I’m so glad medication helped and will continue to help her. I will tell Dominic about the amazing brains bit, he’ll love that!
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pam - I follow your blog for your photography, but as a special education teacher, I had to comment on this. Is he receiving services for gifted?
Holly - Pam, yes he is! He is in the Talented and Gifted program at school.
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