Category Archives: Elusive Tranquility

Elusive Tranquility is my personal blog about parenting a special needs child and her siblings. I started this blog many years ago as a way to share my parenting stories and to connect with other parents of special needs children. I have three children, Jenny who is in college, and Anna and Dominic, both in elementary school. After having Anna, the way I view the world shifted. Anna has PDD-NOS (a form of autism), intellectual disability, epilepsy, microcephaly, hypotonia, hypothyroidism, kyphoscoliosis, sensory integration dysfunction, hearing loss, high myopia, mood disorder, and was failure to thrive from 6 months to 3 years. Bless her heart, her life is hard but she never complains. My son, Dominic, also has ADHD and is intellectually gifted. Anna experiences life at a different pace and with a different viewpoint, and has challenged everything I know about motherhood. Having always been very empathic myself, I feel what she feels and see what she sees… and this gives me a unique vision when exploring my artistic side. I have connected with many other special needs parents through this blog and love hearing from you.

Anna’s Special Olympics competition

Anna competed in her very first Special Olympics competition last Friday and she did great and had a ton of fun! For her age group, she entered the individual skills soccer competition which is comprised of dribbling, shooting, and the run and kick. Many school districts were represented and the individuals were separated into heats so…

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Julie Anders - Way to go Anna, a medal! What a fun and special day!! Holly, you captured the pure joy in her face in your first picture :)

Christy Tower - This brought a smile to my face! She looks so happy!! :)

Tim Keppler - It was soooo cool getting to see Anna and her medal via iChat! Way to go, Anna !!!!

Stacey - I love the photograph of the hug from big sister…perfect!

Rebecca - These are just adorable Holly, I can feel your pride as I look at them.

Anna has yet another diagnosis

I first took Anna to an endocrinologist in the fall of 2009. Her behavior was all over the place and since we were seeing signs of premature puberty (Anna was 8 at the time), Anna’s neurologist suggested we see Dr. Scott, a pediatric endocrinologist. We ran some tests and discovered that Anna’s bone age growth…

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Kelly - Oh Holly. I am so glad that you have answers for why she was off. BUT, I am sorry more meds have been added to her regimen. I really hope that they work for her and you see a decrease in the ill effects the hypothyroidism was causing. Hugs to you and Anna both. Good luck with the EEG. I absolutely dread doing them. Sophie handled the wires and glue pretty well last time, but was very anxious about going to sleep in a strange place. It took her quite awhile and they were about to give up. I told them NO WAY are we giving up…they needed to wait longer. They already had all the wires hooked up and I wasn’t putting her through that again. They did wait, and she eventually fell asleep…but OY was I nervous. Keep us posted on how Anna is doing. Hope her tests in 8 weeks come back much more normal. HUGS

Ann - Aww poor Anna what a deal to have to go through. Is there any type of milk substitute she can have? or do they all have iron and calcium?

I have to get Umar’s thyroid tested every year. And I would not be happy if someone had to poke him three times to get blood. So can’t blame you there.

Glad you have some answers although it may fill you with more worries.

Anessa - Mama bear, I hold you and your family to the highest praise for having to go through so much. You know God is smiling down on Anna everyday, seeing how much she is growing, despite these circumstances… she will grow up one day to become a beautiful, fearless woman. I keep you all in my daily prayers. You are all very blessed. Stay strong pretty lady.

Christy Tower - You are a Mommy Warrior! She is so lucky to have someone that loves her like you.

Christi Carew - Wow… so much going on. But I am glad that you have a diagnosis you can work with.

Stacey H - Your words really got to me-I’m sitting in a puddle of tears. (((HUGS))) for you and your daughter! You may be feeling mommy guilt right now, but I can tell from your words how much you love her and that you are an amazing mother! I can’t even begin to imagine all that you go through. I see so much strength in this post! You also have a special gift when it comes to photography. The relationship you captured of your mom and daughter in this image is beautiful. Its such a sweet image! What blessing to you and your daughter to have her so close to you. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

heidi - You are a trooper! I am sorry you are going through all of this…it will only make us stronger, right? (Joey has a seizure disorder, and it has gotten worse since diagnoses, I totally understand some of the management aspects and tests you are have to undergo, especially piecing the puzzle together)! I pray things get better for her and that the eeg is as peaceful as it can be!

Holly - I want to thank each of you for taking the time to write to me. I’ve come back to your words many times today. I really appreciate the support and encouragement. Thank you seems trite, but thank you. <3

Nancy - Ah Holly, so sorry that Anna has been having such a tough time. falling asleep at odd times is my first and foremost symptom of something wrong with my thyroid meds.

I will say that I take .75 and wait 1 hour to eat, but I have calcium in that first meal. I was told, and I hold to this – that as long as you are consistent – one hour to eat and then have that milk in the morning – that you are fine. Your meds will adjust to your schedule/vice versa. You just can’t take the med with calcium. Take the synthroid the same way, every day.

You can also try some rice or soy milk and see if she can adjust to that.

Christa - ((hugs)) I’m sorry you have this to deal with now too. :( I also have hypothyroid and we’ve chased my TSH levels a bit. she’ll feel so much better once it’s under control.

Project 52, week 24 » Holly Anissa - [...] and rheumatoid factor) and the ANA was borderline. BUT my TSH was high and my vitamin D was low… just like Anna! So I will need to start on thyroid medication and vitamin D just like her. Wow. My white blood [...]

Anna’s endocrinology update » Holly Anissa - [...] in May, Anna was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and low vitamin D. We recently had her labs drawn and visited with the endocrinologist to see if [...]

One Foot in Front of the Other » Holly Anissa - [...] kind of fatigue. For a 10-year old, this is not normal. We found out in the spring that she has hypothyroidism which means that her thyroid gland has stopped producing enough thyroid hormone, so she started on [...]

Ready

I’m having a hard time missing Debbie. I feel like so much was left undone… things I wanted to say, experiences I wanted to have with her… I just assumed I would have all the time in the world. I have gifts for her family sitting on my kitchen table. Why can’t I find the…

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Jeannette Carter - I totally understand. I feel the same way about Linda Whiting. It has been 4 years since she died and I still have strong flashes of missing her. When I got my new cell phone I moved her phone number over to it.. Just so that I remember her when I least expect it..

Grieving is hard but rejoicing in fun memories is not. Last week I started to send your mom a text just saying ‘tubs in blankets’.. a Linda memory that always makes me laugh.

So take your ‘tubs in blankets’ moments with Debbie’s memories and drill them into your head while they are still fresh to you. That way, ten years from now the memories will be as fresh as they are today.

Love you. B.

hope - hugs!!!

and on teh photography front…you are sooooo ready. all the best.

Holly - Thank you, Beanie. I’m taking your advice to heart.
Thanks, Hope! I’m still not sure, but I really appreciate the vote of confidence!

Thoughtful Thursday: friendship

So you may have noticed that I’ve been uber quiet lately. What’s up with that you may wonder? I talk about everything, right? There’s some stuff going on with my sweet Anna that I need to talk about… but not today. I have even stepped back on some of my online responsibilities… real life sometimes…

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Lindsay M. - Oh, honey… I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I was just stopping by from ClickinMom’s to check out your blog and now I’m wishing I could just crawl through this computer screen and give you the biggest hug ever.

Debbie is absolutely beautiful and she must have been amazingly blessed to have such a loving friend.

I wish I had something better to say, but what do you say to something like this?

Cancer is a horrible thing.

I hope that you’re able to find a little more peace & acceptance in each day. Eventually, all those amazing memories will make you smile instead of cry. Hang in there.

<3
Lindsay

Heather C - Holly, this is such a beautiful tribute to a friendship and an incredible woman.

Project 52, week 14 » Holly Anissa - [...] is my beautiful daughter, Jenny. Today I lost an equally beautiful friend, Debbie. I’ve been wanting to give my sweet girl extra big hugs because when Debbie and I were the [...]

Christa - (((Big Hugs))) That’s so heartbreaking holly. :*( I’m so very sorry for the loss of your friend. She is beautiful.

My search for meaning » Holly Anissa - [...] talking with Debbie Tuesday morning and feeling so very lost and scared for her, I pushed away from my computer [...]

Kathy - I am so sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you and to all of her loved ones. Times like this help us to realize how precious life is.

Lori J. - Holly, I am so sorry for loss. I can tell how much your friend meant to you. I love that you didn’t say goodbye. You will see her again! *Hugs*

Project 52, week 15 » Holly Anissa - [...] took this photo at Mayfield Park, the same place that I visited the day before I said goodbye to Debbie. After she died, I had the strongest compulsion to reach out to her niece, Kristi. Those of you [...]

Nancy Granzella - What an awsome tribute to Debbie. I just happened to google Deb’s name as to find out any more info. I have known Debbie since we were 5 yrs. old as we lived in the same neighborhood together. I haven’t seen her in years and was shocked to hear the news. I’m glad she had such a wonderful friend as you. My heart goes out to all her family & friends. I am glad I will be able to say good bye to her under her sister’s tree.

Lisa Burke - Hello Holly,

My name is Lisa and I have known Debbie since 1981 when her sister Julie and I met in 7th grade. Julie was as special a friend to me as Debbie was to you. Taken way too soon from the most loving family I have ever met…….Debbie and I were trying to connect when she last visited the Bay Area and we just could’nt coordinate time……I’m feeling my own guilt for not making more of an effort. I do find comfort, however, that Debbie and Julie are together now and both looking over us all! She was extremely lucky to have a friend like you and thank you for your blog, I was unaware that she was even ill. My thoughts to you…..

Lisa

Andrea - Although I don’t know you personally, I wanted to thank you for writing the beautiful things you did about Debbie. I am a friend from high school and haven’t seen her in years and years, but had connected with her on FB and felt her loveliness just the same as all those years ago. I send you love and blessings to give you peace and soothing energy, it is so very hard to lose someone so close as you two were. God Bless you.

The ABC Challenge » Holly Anissa - [...] of them you’ve seen before, sorry about that. A lot of my photos are inspired by my friend, Debbie, who lost her short battle with cancer on April 8th. I miss you, [...]

New releases at 9th & Bloom » Holly Anissa - [...] for remembrance photos, baptisms, weddings, or other special occasions. I chose to scrap about Debbie, my friend that I lost to cancer in April. It was an emotional process and I will definitely be [...]

Project 52 [Twenty-Twelve]: Week 36 ~ My Favorite Things » Holly Anissa - [...] a dare from my husband. My journey to becoming a businesswoman started with the death of my friend, Debbie. Her photo hangs on my wall just to the left of my desk… it reminds me to go for what I want [...]

Family day-trip!

Yesterday it seemed as through the bad news would never stop. Family in crisis, friends battling life-threatening illnesses, unhappy kids… so we packed up the little ones and headed off on a road trip with no destination in mind. It was much needed and really helped ground us again. We ended up at the Perdanales…

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Mrs. Fun - I love that you picked up and set out with no destination. It’s good for the soul and we do it nearly every Sunday.
These photos are beautiful, glad to see you in front of the camera.

Kathy - Oh my goodness – such crisp and clear photos! BEAUTIFUL. Looks like you guys had a great day.

Jenn Jones - The nowhere-in-particular destinations are the best! What a sweet family. I love the ones you and your husband took of each other. So fun! On another note, I think your daughter and I wear the same glasses! Cool.

Lacey - I’m sorry your day started out so hard… but that is wonderful that it looks like you ended up having a great day as a family. It is such a blessing to find comfort that way!

Alli - I love Perdanales State Park although it has been years since I have been there! You captured some really precious moments of your kids (love the close up one of your daughter where you can count her gorgeous eyelashes!) & I am glad you guys ended up having a good day!

Megan - It looks like you all had the perfect time to cure a rough start to the day. I really like the third image. What a beautiful path and I love how the trees are just starting to green up.

Laurie - Looks like a fun day! You captured a lot of beautiful moments. I love the third one. I really love it when my kiddos hold hands.

Christy - This looks like it was a great day.

Tamra - It sure looks like you had a great day! I really like the one of your son by the river bank! And the third one. And that you are in some!

Rebecca - What a lovely day. Nice to ‘see’ you again too in a photo Holly. xx

Anna - Hi Holly, yes the pictures tell the story. They are lovely.

Lizz - Love these so much, both the photos and fun days like this!

Project 52, Week 11 » Holly Anissa - [...] it didn’t bother me too much. We had a family day trip (with just the little ones) to the Perdanales State Park on Sunday that went wonderfully and then we took everyone to the rodeo on Wednesday and that was [...]

Rachel - That looks like just a perfect day! I love all the candid shots… and honestly – all of them could have been used for the “Slice of Life” theme!

Just gorgeous… makes me want to spend the day with you guys! :)