I’m having a hard time missing Debbie. I feel like so much was left undone… things I wanted to say, experiences I wanted to have with her… I just assumed I would have all the time in the world. I have gifts for her family sitting on my kitchen table. Why can’t I find the motivation to mail them? Her partner, Jan, has made her way to California with Debbie’s ashes and has been updating Facebook with her journey. I find myself hungry for these posts and photos. Thank you, Jan. There is going to be a celebration of her life on May 7th in California… I so wish I could be there. It’s isolating mourning someone alone.
In honor of Debbie and because of her very fast diagnosis and death, I’m making some big changes in my life. I’ve stepped back from my online responsibilities, resigning from two personal digiscrapping creative teams and from siggy-making. Those were hard decisions. I’ve made over 2000 siggies since November 2007 and I have a huge passion for it, plus I’ve made some incredible friendships with my regular requesters (I hope they know that I’ll always be here to make them siggies if they want them). And saying goodbye to Becca and Anna were tough too, I admire both of them as artists so much. I’m staying on as an admin with Crumbsnatchers and as an Art Crew member with 9th & Bloom and will continue Digital Star Design on a limited basis. But just reducing this amount of work has freed me up to play with my kids more and be really present in my day-to-day life.
So what am I ready for?
I’m ready to pursue photography in a more serious fashion. I’m in the process of making Holly Anissa Photography a real, legal business. I’ve been waffling for months on what I wanted to do… keep photography a hobby or go into business. I’m not sure yet what niche or genre of photography in which I want to specialize… I think as I build my portfolio, I will try different types of photography and see what excites me and what doesn’t. It will be on a part-time until the fall so that I can be with my children this summer. But I’m ready.