We have a new behavioral specialist working with us through Integral Care (formerly MHMR). Her name is Kathy and I’m really impressed with her. She came to the house last Friday and did an intake interview with me… she was so thorough! Three hours later, I think she had a good handle on what Anna’s challenges are and what we are looking to get out of our time with her. Initially I had wanted a behavioral specialist to help Anna and Dominic get along better… Anna is constantly rejecting him because she is afraid of him. He is loud, unpredictable, and causes her to be on guard all the time, anticipating the next boo-boo or screech. As he gets older, this gets better and Curtis works with him coaching him how to lower the intensity around Anna. At the same time, I hate that he already feels a sense of responsibility when he does cause a meltdown in her. Anna and I are continuing to live at my mom’s house, 2 doors down from our house, while Curtis and I figure out how to put our marriage back together. What has been interesting is that both kids have had big developmental gains living in separate houses. Both kids are more independent, more competent, listen better, and overall seem happier. Sigh. What does this mean for our family?
Anyway, Kathy really helped narrow our focus to create some concrete goals. Kathy is going to observe Anna at school next week and she was also here on Monday for an observation. First off, she said that in a typical family, an 8-year old girl and 5-year old boy would not be getting along or playing together all the time. So to expect a socially-challenged, play-skill-delayed child to want to engage with her brother is just unrealistic. What we should be focusing on instead is helping her self-manage her anxiety and stress. These skills will help her more in a variety of settings and situations, help her be less dependent on me, and help her in the future as she gets older and the stresses get more complicated. So how do we do this?
We are already doing a lot of behavioral supports in the home. But I need to be more consistent with them, such as using the timer to increase independent play and using the sticker chart with rewards for positive behaviors and chores.
Kathy suggested social stories… where we create short, homemade books that we can laminate and have Anna carry around. Each social story can be about something very specific, like going to the grocery store. We use Anna’s picture in it and review it with her before the outing. First we identify the stress… awareness and acknowledgement of the behavior, then we give her the language (stress looks like, sounds like, feels like) and triggers, then the strategies for coping (take a break, set a timer, reward, etc.). I think these will really help with specific, targeted behaviors during predictably stressful situations.
She also suggested videotaped interactions where we video Anna to show her the anxious behaviors to start to teach her to recognize them in herself. Then we give her tools for coping. Anna loves watching herself on TV, so I need to charge up the camcorder!
Kathy recommended some books, which I’ve already ordered from Amazon. These include:
~Don’t Pop Your Cork on Mondays!: The Children’s Anti-Stress Book by Adolph Moser
~Incredible 5-Point Scale — Assisting Students with Autism Spectrum Disorders in Understanding Social Interactions and Controlling Their Emotional Responses by Kari Dunn Buron
~Building Social Relationships: A Systematic Approach to Teaching Social Interaction Skills to Children and Adolescents with Autism Spectrum Disorders and Other Social Difficulties by Scott Bellini
To build Anna’s relationship with Dominic, we start by setting up some playdates with an older girl or two (and we have the perfect girl in the neighborhood, she is mature, sweet, and patient with Anna) that have a timed structure with a beginning, middle, and end. Once Anna is comfortable and engaged with this level of play, we introduce Dominic into the play for a short time. Hopefully, she will be willing to play once she realizes that it’s only for a set amount of time.
I’m feeling optimistic about helping Anna. We are still giving the Lexapro a try though I’m not sure I’m seeing a signficant difference in her overall anxiety level or coping. I’d love to get her off of the Risperdal since it’s caused so many other issues… I’m thinking that if she’s not anxious and stressed all the time, she won’t be as aggressive so she won’t need the Risperdal. Though we forgot to give her the morning dose of Risperdal last Wednesday and she was not a happy little girl. She’s getting big enough that her hitting hurts.
Anna’s MRI and other testing has been scheduled for next Tuesday, February 23rd. We have to be at the hospital at 5:45 am. *Yawn.* I really appreciate any positive thoughts and prayers you can spare. We had an incident this weekend where I thought I saw some seizure activity and it is just so yucky. It’s been since the 4th of July last year for any seizures, I hate that even after all this time, I’m still on guard every minute.